i've got a brokened finger

Ouch my fingers ruined. It doesn't work anymore because I put it in the door and my Grandad shut it. Haha, yeah well I didn't laugh. It bends the wrong way now and its fatter than the other ones. Its the one you don't pick your nose with or swear at people with. Its the next one on my right hand and its well and truly buggered. Blood came out as well but its gone now so thats a good thing.

All in all, Monday wasn't my best day. It started out with my Grandad going on about me having an 'adolescent attachment' to my phone. I can't help it, everyone wants to talk to me. I think I must be a people magnet! Wow that makes me sound cool yet bigheaded which I'm totally not i swear! Anyway, he said he'd take my phone off me and never give it me back. I came back with something about my rights as a non-paying tenent and shot myself in the foot as he said he'd be happy to sell it as payment for the amount of electricity I use charging it up! I was fighting a losing battle so decided to be an adolescent. I stamped my feet as hard as i could up the stairs and played my music as loud as i could. It didnt work so i played music with swear words in and stamped around dancing and singing my lungs out. That didn't work so I did my Kevin and Perry impression at the dinner table. 'I don't care, thats not fair, I've got a LIFE you know!" Again it didnt work so i went and took my phone from in the lounge and went upstairs.

That seems like what i should have done in the first place, but clearly it was the wrong move at any time of the day. I thought i was fine seeing as it was still feeding time at the zoo downstairs, and i didn't think my Grandad would notice for a while and i as going out an hour later so I assumed that I was clever and he was stupid and i had won. But it turns out that my Grandad has a different role in the zoo than i thought. He's not a pig at the trough, he's an illegal nuclear weapon of many animals. And what a monster. 'I saw that.' He growled up the stairs. 'Erm, shit!' Was all i could reply with. I am of a lesser known breed of scaredy cats, and so i did as my instints told me best. I hid under the bed!

As the lion crept up the stairs, panting at the thought of catching his prey, the mouse lay still, hardly moving a muscle. The lion looked around the door cautiously and saw a tiny quivering foot under the bed. He paused for a moment and then pounced, dragging the mouse from under the bed as she squealed in fright and clung on to her piece of un-safari-like technology. He threw her about for a moment until she managed to escape and she dashed across the room like a ballerina on speed. He cornered her as she tried to run through the door and slammed it shut!

Then i felt the pain and called him all the names i could think of whilst plotting my revenge and wishing i lived in a binbag at the train station. When he apologised and left, i changed my mind. I thought it was quite nice of him to let me keep my phone and half my hand, seeing as i'd been rather rude to him. And i decided that living there wasn't so bad seeing as they only wanted my phone and not my binbag or my doorway. Yes, i had guilt and so went and apologised to him, although i was gritting my teeth whilst saying it.

Moral of the story; Being an adolescent is waaaaay to tiring and you should never underestimate the speed of angry pensioners. Take it from me, wild animals would soil themselves if my grandad charged at them with a chicken leg in his hand, spraying chunks of meat on their bed!